It’s best not to wait for a crisis to start the conversation. Instead, let them know you’d like to talk and schedule a time to have an open, respectful discussion. Be specific about your rules and the consequences for breaking them. When children and young adults understand the structure they’re operating within, they’re more likely to make safer choices. Clear rules also give them a built-in excuse to resist peer pressure—such as saying, “I can’t—my parents would ground me for a week.” 

Approach the conversation with the same respect you hope to receive in return. Children and Young Adults are more likely to listen when they feel heard and respected. Framing the discussion as a shared effort to keep them safe, rather than a lecture, helps reinforce mutual trust. 

Explain why drinking, drug use and smoking/vaping can seriously affect their health, both in the short and long term. Be honest and keep your tone calm and nonjudgmental. Give them space to share their thoughts, ask questions, or raise concerns. Many young people are looking for guidance but may not know how to ask for it. 

Finally, make it clear that your priority is their safety. Let them know they can always call you—no matter what—for help if they’re in a risky situation. Reassuring them that you’re a safe and reliable source of support can make a critical difference when it matters most. 

Here are some links for more information and support:

How to talk to children about alcohol and other drugs | Barnardo's

Honest information about drugs | FRANK

Young people and vaping - Better Health - NHS